Honouring Resistance – a wonderful resource for understanding abuse

Honouring Resistance: How Women Resist Abuse in Intimate Relationships (34 page PDF) explains that every person resists abuse and that abusers choose their behavior.

A Cry For Justice

Honouring Resistance: How Women Resist Abuse in Intimate Relationships (34 page PDF)  explains that every person resists abuse and that abusers choose their behavior. 

Choosing to Change is a companion document to “Honouring Resistance.”  it is a handbook for men concerned about maintaining their relationships that might be threatened by abusive behaviour towards those they love.

Both these booklets are produced by the Calgary Women’s Emergency Shelter  Canada, and can be downloaded from their site for free.

We have had a link to publications from the Calgary Women’s Emergency Shelter on our Resources Page for some time, but I thought it would be good to highlight Honouring Resistance in a special post, because I think it’s such an excellent resource. It gives a victim’s story of domestic abuse, and then explains all the ways she resisted the abuse. Victims find that when they look at their experience from the framework of…

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Narcissistic Abuse Affects Over 158 Million People in the U.S.

World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day is June 1, and everyone, unless you’re living under a rock, has heard the word narcissist. In fact, the word is tossed around so liberally these days, its meaning becoming so diluted, that posting an occasional selfie can make people suspect you of being a narcissist. Ironically, despite the popularity of the word, most people have never heard of the phrase ‘narcissistic abuse.’ Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional and psychological abuse. It is primarily inflicted by individuals who have either narcissistic personality disorder (NPD, which is characterized by a lack of empathy), or antisocial personality disorder (ASPD, also known as sociopaths or psychopaths), and is associated with the absence of a conscience.   You may be wondering if most people haven’t even heard of narcissistic abuse, then why is it so important to raise awareness about it? Unfortunately, since it’s such an under recognized, understudied public health issue,

Source: Narcissistic Abuse Affects Over 158 Million People in the U.S.

Red Flags indicating a victim is at high risk of being killed or almost killed by her abuser

A Cry For Justice

This infographic comes from DVRCV (Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria, Australia). It highlights the factors that put family violence victims at increased risk of being killed or seriously injured. These risk factors have been ascertained by research that looked at the backstory of lethal and near-lethal cases of domestic violence.

The infographic can be downloaded as a PDF from https://www.thelookout.org.au/new-infographic-risk-factors.

You may find that when you click that link you get a warning message saying the site is not secure. We think DVRCV might have arranged that link to give a warning message so as to alert victims of abuse to in case the victim’s computer or phone may be monitored by her abuser, and to give her a moment to consider whether to proceed further if she is using a computer or phone which her abuser also uses or might be covertly surveilling. Barb got a warning message when she first clicked on the link; she decided…

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Before Marrying Again… Ask These Questions

The first marriage ended in divorce. The second one is going to be different. But how can a person be sure that they are not making another mistake of a different caliber? This is a checklist that I use with clients during premarital counseling. It has been developed over the last 15 years spent counseling thousands of couples prior to marriage. Ask clients to look through the following checklist and check all that apply. Are there frequent arguments over nothing with little resolution? Do you or your partner use biting sarcasm to confront issues? Are you staying in the relationship out of fear or worry? Do you have few areas of common interest? Are you or is your partner overly dependent on parents or children? Are there any signs of physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, mental, spiritual, or financial abuse both present and in the past? Do you avoid discussing sensitive topics or are you afraid of their reaction? Does your partner frequently complain about unreal aches and pains?

Source: Before Marrying Again… Ask These Questions

Recognize a Manipulator


Psychopath Resistance

via Be Aware of These 8 Signs Of A Manipulator.

This image is for illustrative purposes only. The pictured individuals have no actual connection to the article contents. 



While we all are manipulative to some degree, manipulators engage in set behaviors on a regular basis. Manipulators use deceptive and underhanded tactics by exploiting another person for power, control, and privileges at the other person’s expense. They play on your good intentions, vulnerabilities, and weaknesses to get what they want.  Don’t be surprised if a manipulator is someone you trust or even love.

When someone is clearly wronging or hurting you and you are the one feeling bad and apologizing for their wrong doings, you are being manipulated. Manipulative behaviors are learned, most often in childhood. Thus, unfortunately it’s something that can’t be quickly unlearned. So, watch out for some common signs to spot them and once you do…

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