Narcissists’ Greatest Fear

Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear:  That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention. To…

Source: Narcissists’ Greatest Fear


11 Ways Narcissists Use Shame to Control

A weakness of a narcissist is their extreme hatred of being embarrassed. There is nothing worse for them than having someone point out even the slightest fault. Ironically, they have no problem openly doing this to others. This method of casting shame allows them to feel superior while minimizing any impact the other person might have. It also serves as a way of discounting any future comments the other person use to embarrass the narcissist. Basically, they are beating the other person to the first punch. In order to avoid a first punch, a person needs to understand what it looks like. Here are eleven ways a narcissist uses shame to control others. Historical Revisionism. A narcissist will retell another person’s story adding their own flare of additional shame. This can be done in front of others or privately. It usually happens after the other person has achieved some level of accomplishment. The narcissist will state that they are only trying to the keep the other person humble

Source: 11 Ways Narcissists Use Shame to Control

Diversion Tactics Highly Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths Use To Silence You: Part III

Note: Unable to locate Part 2 but when I do I will post it here.


In Parts I and II of Shahida Arabi’s piece on diversion tactics toxic people used, we learned 10 ways abusive narcissists distort the reality of their victims. Here are five more of the 20&nb…

Source: Diversion Tactics Highly Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths Use To Silence You: Part III

20 Diversion Tactics Highly Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths Use To Silence You: Part I

Toxic people such as malignant narcissists, psychopaths and those with antisocial traits engage in maladaptive behaviors in relationships that ultimately exploit, demean and hurt their intimate partners, family members and friends. They use a plethora of diversionary tactics that distort the reality of their victims and deflect responsibility. Although those who are not narcissistic can employ these tactics as well, abusive narcissists use these to an excessive extent in an effort to escape accountability for their actions.

Here are 4 of the 20 diversionary tactics toxic people use to silence and degrade you. Look for more in Part II, coming soon.

Source: 20 Diversion Tactics Highly Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths Use To Silence You: Part I

Honouring Resistance – a wonderful resource for understanding abuse

Honouring Resistance: How Women Resist Abuse in Intimate Relationships (34 page PDF) explains that every person resists abuse and that abusers choose their behavior.

A Cry For Justice

Honouring Resistance: How Women Resist Abuse in Intimate Relationships (34 page PDF)  explains that every person resists abuse and that abusers choose their behavior. 

Choosing to Change is a companion document to “Honouring Resistance.”  it is a handbook for men concerned about maintaining their relationships that might be threatened by abusive behaviour towards those they love.

Both these booklets are produced by the Calgary Women’s Emergency Shelter  Canada, and can be downloaded from their site for free.

We have had a link to publications from the Calgary Women’s Emergency Shelter on our Resources Page for some time, but I thought it would be good to highlight Honouring Resistance in a special post, because I think it’s such an excellent resource. It gives a victim’s story of domestic abuse, and then explains all the ways she resisted the abuse. Victims find that when they look at their experience from the framework of…

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Narcissistic Abuse Affects Over 158 Million People in the U.S.

World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day is June 1, and everyone, unless you’re living under a rock, has heard the word narcissist. In fact, the word is tossed around so liberally these days, its meaning becoming so diluted, that posting an occasional selfie can make people suspect you of being a narcissist. Ironically, despite the popularity of the word, most people have never heard of the phrase ‘narcissistic abuse.’ Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional and psychological abuse. It is primarily inflicted by individuals who have either narcissistic personality disorder (NPD, which is characterized by a lack of empathy), or antisocial personality disorder (ASPD, also known as sociopaths or psychopaths), and is associated with the absence of a conscience.   You may be wondering if most people haven’t even heard of narcissistic abuse, then why is it so important to raise awareness about it? Unfortunately, since it’s such an under recognized, understudied public health issue,

Source: Narcissistic Abuse Affects Over 158 Million People in the U.S.

Red Flags indicating a victim is at high risk of being killed or almost killed by her abuser

A Cry For Justice

This infographic comes from DVRCV (Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria, Australia). It highlights the factors that put family violence victims at increased risk of being killed or seriously injured. These risk factors have been ascertained by research that looked at the backstory of lethal and near-lethal cases of domestic violence.

The infographic can be downloaded as a PDF from

You may find that when you click that link you get a warning message saying the site is not secure. We think DVRCV might have arranged that link to give a warning message so as to alert victims of abuse to in case the victim’s computer or phone may be monitored by her abuser, and to give her a moment to consider whether to proceed further if she is using a computer or phone which her abuser also uses or might be covertly surveilling. Barb got a warning message when she first clicked on the link; she decided…

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